============================================================================= Escape From Monkey Island (PS2) v2.5 FAQ/Walkthrough ============================================================================= Welcome to my Escape From Monkey Island for the Playstation 2! Although you CAN use the PC versions of the FAQ/Walkthrough for this game, there are SOME differences, and this FAQ/Walkthrough will also address those. I have played the Monkey Island series of games from their beginnings on the PC - if you haven't played any other of the MI games, I suggest you do - they are (in my opinion) just as funny as Escape From Monkey Island...not to mention the fact that many jokes in the MI4 will make MUCH more sense if you have played the previous games. The game is still funny, but it adds an extra punch to have played previous installments. I am always open to suggestions, ideas, and so forth, and am usually in a pretty good mood, so feel free to email these (plus any criticsims, which you hopefully won't have too many of) to juventus_FSU@hotmail.com. I will try to answer any question you may have about the game as well and I do try to answer any and all email I get. Sometimes I'm really good about it, other days not so good =) ------------------- Table of Contents ------------------- (1) Copyright Information (2) Version History (3) Controls (4) Characters (5) Prologue & Act I (6) Act II (7) Act III (8) Act III+ (9) How to Insult Like A Pro (10) Monkey Kombat - Flawless Victory (11) Items & Their Location (12) Have you tried... (13) Credits, Thanks, and Contact Information ============================================================================= (1) Copyright Information ============================================================================= Escape From Monkey Island, and all of the names, places, etc. are copyrighted trademarks of LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. This FAQ/Walkthrough is also copyrighted and may not be reproduce in whole or in part without the WRITTEN consent of Brian D. Wall (the author). Places this FAQ/Walkthrough is legally posted: www.gamefaqs.com (Gamefaqs) www.cheatcc.com (Cheat Code Central) www.neoseeker.com (Neoseeker) www.cheatsforplaystation2.com (Cheats For Playstation 2) www.psxcodez.com (Playstation Cheat.net) If you find it anywhere else, please let me know! ============================================================================= (2) Version History ============================================================================= v2.5 - added a characters section, updated copyright information, and added an omission to the Act II section v2.0 - added the Monkey Kombat section, fixed some major formatting issues v1.5 - the first update to the Walkthru - added two buttons I managed to miss, added Act II, added Act III, more items, added to the "things to try" section, and split Act III and Act III+ up the way I should have to begin with v1.0 - the original version, the first version, the start of a great adventure (well, not really, but it sounded good at the time) ============================================================================= (3) Controls ============================================================================= Usually when adventure games are translated onto a console, the controls are ackward. Thankfully, the good people at Lucas Arts managed to avoid this problem and have kept the controls simple and intuitive. Triangle Button: Use an object on the screen or talk to a person. Also, when in the inventory screen, will allow you to combine items. Circle Button: Look at an object X Button: Use action highlighted on the bottom of the screen Square Button: Pick up and item or put an item away L1 Button: Skip dialogue (real handy for parts you have to repeat!) L2 Button: Bring up inventory management screen R1 Button: Scroll up through dialog choices/actions R2 Button: Scroll down through dialog choices/actions Left Analog: Move Guybrush, when pushed in, leave room quickly Right Analog: Move through dialog/action choices, when pushed in same as X button Start Button: Pauses the games, gives you access to options, and lets you save your game Select Button: Skip cut scenes ============================================================================= (4) Characters ============================================================================= In this section you can find all of the characters from Escape From Monkey Island - from the major players to the bit actors. If you find some sort of error or omission, let me know and I'll fix it in the next update. Please note the characters are in alphabetical order, and not order of appearence! Admiral Casaba -------------- About as intelligent as a Casaba Melon, he will fire cannon balls at groups of three or more pirates. He can also blow up rocks... Bait Shop Owner --------------- An interesting fellow with apparently no sense of smell. One day he may learn that termites don't really belong in a bait shop. Bank Manager ------------ "'Ol Moneybags" himself - he is pleasent until his money comes up missing. Then the real Bank Manager comes out. Brittany -------- A bank teller with an annoying habit of giggling a lot - she wants to break into show business (personally, I feel they are poking a little fun at a singer with the same name, but that's just my opinion). Carla ----- The former sword master of Melee Island(TM). A reluctant crewmember who is almost as much fun to talk to when she is drunk as the Drunken sailor. Castaneda --------- A chess player with a fleeting attention span. Charles L. Charles ------------------ Alter ego of LeChuck, this slimy (yet intelligent) politician should scare you more than LeChuck does! Deadeye Dave ------------ An appropriate name, considerind Dave is blind. He does, however, have a killer sense of smell and a killer filing system! Diving Judges ------------- One's cranky, one's old, and one's still back in the 60's. If you want to win the diving contest, you will need to get these guys on your sides. Drunken Sailor -------------- He's drunk. He's a sailor. He has a balloon. Elaine Marley-Threepwood ------------------------ The pants-wearer in this little pirate family, and everybody knows it. She has not only been declared dead, but deemed nuts for thinking Charles L. Charles is LeChuck (but WE know the truth!) Freddie ------- The proprietor of the House of Sticks. He will help you find the right walking stick for your needs. George ------ A dart thrower with impecable aim - hey, doesn't the balloon look like a good target?? Guybrush Threepwood ------------------- Our hero. Our savior. Be very afraid. Guybrush has thwarted LeChuck three times while trying to become a mighty pirate - can he do it a fourth time?? Harbor Mistress --------------- A...large woman. A by the books person, she won't give you a ship without proper authorization by someone with authority. That pretty much leaves out Guybrush! Hellbeard The Puppeteer ----------------------- A man with deep psychological issues - he will only communicate through puppets. For a little mean fun, try mentioning the Ultimate Insult to him! Herman Toothrot --------------- Yet another odd bird who seems to have lost his memory. Help him get it back, and you will find out a Marley family secret! Hugo ---- A pirate turned perfume salesman. Hopefully he was a better pirate (seeing as how you just kind of "appropriate" a bottle of cologne. Ignatius Cheese --------------- Owner of the SCUMM Bar and heckuva navigator. Likes to take the scenic route if it is available! Inspector Canard ---------------- A rather intelligent, if suspicious, man. You need to prove to him you are an innocent man. Jojo Jr. -------- Look a talking monkey! Son of Jojo and master of Monkey Kombat. He has something you need, but you must prove your worthiness first! Jolly Pirate ------------ Charicature artist at Planet Threepwood, he will draw your picture for free - just answer a few questions first... Jumbeaux LaFeet --------------- Son of Tiny LaFeet, he is trying to rectify his father's image after what the marketing department of Ozzie Mandrill made it more "family friendly". Has two parrots, he just can't remember which is which. LeChuck ------- Our hero's nemesis, he has a knack for surviving. Under the guise of Charles L. Charles, he his now running for governor of Melee Island(TM). Not only does he have his eyes on Elaine, he has a whole religion (well, at least one church) based on him. LUA Bar Chef ------------ A French chef making sushi? That's...original. Will fanatically defend his kitchen and boat track. Likes wax paintings. Lua Bar Waitress ---------------- Brutally honest and doesn't like pirates. What else can you say about her? Marco De Pollo -------------- Discoverer of trade routes to China in...oh, wait. He is actually the plank diving champion of Jambalya Island(TM) and likes himself a lot. Meathook -------- Another character from way back, Meathook has a fear of parrots and does a mean tattoo trick. Also is an accomplished wax painter. Miss Rivers ----------- Goal in life is to rid the world of pirates. She reminds me of a few nuns I had as teachers in high school (you think I'm kidding, don't you?). Also has an uncanny resemblance to the trippy "Poltergeist" spiritualist. Mungle ------ He tries. He wants to become a non-pirate, but can't quite get it. Miss Rivers understands this, but fails him none-the-less. Murray ------ He's evil, he's a skull, he's MURRAY! He has been given the task of being the bouncer and announcer for Planet Threepwood. Still making evil plans. Ned --- The second of the pair of dart throwers. can't say much else. Otis ---- Scared of you, thanks to Monkey Island(TM). Your third creman has an uncanny knack of winding up in jail. Ozzie Mandrill -------------- In league with LeChuck, he is buying up everything he can in the tri-island area and making it "family-friendly", the fiend! Possibly related to Steve Erwin (aka The Crocodile Hunter), but this is unconfirmed. Pegnose Pete ------------ The true thief of the Lucre Island(TM) bank, he is deathly afraid of ducks. Planet Threepwood Waitress ("Elayne") ------------------------------------- A cheap knock off of our hero's wife (I mean, she can't even spell her name right!!) Santiago -------- A single-minded man when it comes to chess! But he does have a crush on Brittany... SCUMM Bar Bartender ------------------- A likeable fellow - he really wants to join your crew too - sadly, his boss won't let him. Stan the Salesman ----------------- Returning once again, this time as a time-share salesman. Unfortunately, he is incredibly annoying (even more so than usual!) Starbuccaneer's Counter Clerk ----------------------------- Whiney and annoying - and his coffee stinks ;) Three Lawyers ------------- A law-suit happy bunch - they'll sue whoever you want...as long as they are rich! Timmy The Monkey ---------------- TIM-MAY! The MON-KAY! He likes bananas, and will follow you anywhere for one! Tony Biboulda ------------- The man throwing rocks at your house - he's union though, so he has to take a break and will do so if you can get him a snack to eat! Tourist ------- He knows a lot about Tiny LaFeet, but can get a tad long winded at times! Voodoo Lady ----------- A perpetual figure in the Monkey Island series, she is back on Melee Island(TM), and will once again help Guybrush along the way! Yangja ------ She tries to renounce her pirate-y ways, but has a serious attitude problem! ============================================================================= (5) Prologue & Act I - Things to Do On Melee Island(TM) When You're Dead ============================================================================= Prologue: --------- Pirates intent on doing mean and nasty things have attacked Guybrush and Elaine's ship. We find our hero tied to the mast. To the right, you will notice a lit brazier. Move to the right so you are facing the coals and use the brazier (when I say something should be "used" it means to use the triangle button). Highlight "Look at coals" and press the square button. Guybrush will start juggling a piece of hot coal with his feet - perhaps a Nike or Adidas contract is in the works? Quickly turn to the left, highlight "Kick red hot chunk o' coal at loaded cannon" and press the X button. The coal should light the cannon and sink the other ship with an amazing quickness. Having gained the advantage, Elaine and her crew get the best of enemy crew. Congratulations! You've solved the FIRST puzzle (don't get TOO excited). Act I - Things To Do On Melee Island(TM) When You're Dead --------------------------------------------------------- Melee Island(TM) ---------------- Not quite the reception we were expecting, is it? And who the heck is this guy with the catapult?? Obviously, we need to stop him from flinging boulders at the mansion! Fortunately, he seems to have a less than thorough knowledge of the catapult, so let's go look around a little bit. Walk away from the catapult and follow the path east towards the wall. Walk through the archway and follow the wall until you are at the Melee Island(TM) map. Go to the harbour (all the way on the east side of the island). There isn't much you can do here at this point except take the POPPED INNER TUBE. Head back to the Melee Island(TM) map and go to the town. The first building you see is the Scumm Bar. Go inside. Before talking to anyone, look around the bar a bit. How nice, they've given the drunken sailor a balloon for his birthday! For a little fun (and for those who have been through college, a little nostalgia perhaps? I know it was for me) try talking to the drunken sailor. You won't learn a whole lot, but it is fun nonetheless. Walk to the let side of the bar and talk to the crusty sailor. You will learn he is the owner of the SCUMM bar and that he is named Ignatius Cheese. Also, some Australian guy is trying to buy the bar, and he is a master insulter. Ask him about Insult Arm Wrestling Then ask him to join your crew. Choose to challenge him at insult arm wrestling. This is relatively easy, but if you are having trouble, see the section entitled "How To Insult Like A Pro". Once you have won, go and talk to the dart players (either one will work). Aks them about the number of holes in the wall and they will claim to never miss a shot. Challenge them to hit the balloon we saw earlier. The drunken sailor will be startled, then pass out. Go back to his table and take the BOWL OF JERKY PRETZELS. Head to the left and you will be at the Melee Island(TM) Town Hall. Go and talk to the two pirates standing outside of it. Keep insisting you know them, and eventually they will break down and tell you who they are - it's Carla (aka the Swordmaster from MI I) and Otis (the jailbird from MI 1). Ask them to join your crew, and promise them cushy government jobs. Time to save the mansion! Head back to the mansion and the catapult. Head towards the mansion and you will see a funny looking cactus. Use the POPPED INNER TUBE with the funny looking cactus. Head back to the catapult and offer the man some pretzels. Move next to the catapult and tinker with the catapult controls. The operator will get mad and have to recalibrate the controls with the funny looking cactus. The rock will come flying back at the catapult and destroy it (well, knock it backwards - the fall off the cliff is what really destroys it =) ). Ok, the mansion is no longer under siege!! After another conversation with Elaine and the other candidate for island governor, enter your mansion. Move to the right side by the desk (left side of the window). Now take the CUSHY GOVERNMENT JOB CONTRACT FORM. Move over to the table Elaine is at and take the GOVERNMENT JOB CONTRACT FORM. Give both forms to Elaine to be signed - Carla wants SIGNED contracts, remember? Head back to city hall. Give the now signed CUSHY GOVERNMENT JOB CONTRACT FORM to Otis and Carla. All right! You have a crew! Now if only you had a ship! Go to the island map and head back to the harbor. Talk to the harbor mistress and tell her you are comandeering a boat. She will tell you that you don't have the proper authority. Head back to the Marley Mansion and explain the situation to Elaine. She will give you the MELEE ISLAND(TM) GUBERNATORIAL SYMBOL. Head back to the harbor. Use the MELEE ISLAND(TM) GUBERNATORIAL SYMBOL with the Harbor Mistress and she will take you to your ship. Yes! You have a ship! But...it's pink. The other pirates are going to have a field day with this. Well not in the game, but in real life, they probably would. Oh well - on to Lucre Island(TM)! Lucre Island(TM) ---------------- Ok, not the greatest navigator in the world, but Mr. Cheese got you there. First things first, go see the lawyers (Side Note: For anyone who has played the Monkey Island series, groups of three people that you need help from are a common thread). They will give you a letter, go ahead and read it. It is from Elaine's grandfather - apparently he has some gifts for you two. Head to the Lucre Island(TM) bank. There is another person in line - apparently he is from Australia and is having problems. Wait a minute...Australia...hmmmm... Anyways, after Ozzie Mandrill has left, talk to Brittany the Bank Teller and tell her you would like to remove some items from your safety deposit box. The Bank President will take you to he vault and give you the safe deposit chest. While you are in the vault, the bank will be robbed by Guybrush. HEY! That's not Guybrush, you're Guybrush! Obviously we will have to sort this out. First, pick up everything in the vault - the OLD SWORD, the SMALL SEA SPONGE, the MEDIUM SEA SPONGE, the LARGE SEA SPONGE, the HANDKERCHIEF. Look in the safe deposit box and take the MUSIC BOX and the BOTTLE OF FINE GROG. Go over to the bank vault door and use the OLD SWORD with the bottom hinge. Then use the BROKEN SWORD with the crack that is now in the door. This will widen the crack. Use the SMALL SEA SPONGE with the crack. Pour the BOTTLE OF FINE GROG on the SMALL SEA SPONGE. Repeat this for the MEDIUM & LARGE SEA SPONGES. And the door will come right off the hinges. (Another side note: IMHO, the logic of the inspector is flawed - how could you blow the hinges off the vault from the inside if you were outside the vault robbing the bank?? Oh well.) It is time to clear your ,eh-hem, good name. Of course, you can't leave the island as you are under "house arrest". You will have to accomplish three things in order to satisfy Inspector Canard that you are not the guilty party: (1) find the real thief, (2) Prove the real thief was at the scene of the crime, and (3) find the booty. Let's go! Finding the Real Thief ---------------------- Before you leave the jail, walk over to the iron maiden and pick up the CHICKEN GREASE. Make your way over to the "Scents and Sensibilities" stand and pick up the COLOGNE. Walk just to the left of the stand and pick up the EMPTY SPRITZER BOTTLE. While you are in this part of town, head to the House of Sticks. Watch the short cut scene of Ozzie Mandrill buying a replacement stick. Walk over to where he was and pick up the WOOD SHAVINGS. Head back in the direction of the Hall of Justice. While you are here, use the EMPTY SPRITZER BOTTLE on the fountain. The EMPTY SPRITZER BOTTLE is now called the HOME-MADE PERFUME. Walk to the right and you will find the Bait Shop. Hey - a duck! Pick up the DUCK. Now go into the Bait Shop. Stinky! Talk to the shop owner about the no nosed pirate thief to learn about where he is and how infamous he is (he is so famous he's IN-famous, to quote a movie). Use the HOME-MADE PERFUME on the free bait - thankfully you are a pirate, not a perfume-scent creator! Leave the bait shop and head to the Lucre Island(TM) map. Head towards the Mystes O' Tyme and use the HOME-MADE PERFUME on the puddle. Go back to the map and take the path to the foreboding mansion. Near the fountain (and somewhat hard to see) is the FLOWER. Go ahead and take it, then combine FLOWER and the WOOD SHAVINGS with the HOME-MADE PERFUME. Make your way to the town and head left to enter the screen with the Bank. Walk over to the man hole cover and use the BROKEN SWORD on the MANHOLE COVER. Pick up the MANHOLE COVER. This will be used later, but it is convenient to get it now. Head left one more screen and you will be at the Palace of Prostheses, go ahead and enter the store. Talk to Dave, then spritz him with the HOME-MADE PERFUME. He will tell you the real name of Pegnose Pete - it is different for every game. Dave will even tell you he has the directions to get to his house...you just need to figure out how to use the filing controls. Each symbol is a substitute for a section of the alphabet: Rabbit: A through D Palm Tree: E through H Pumpkin: I through M Monkey: N through S Banana: T through Z In my case, Pegnose Pete's real name is Yahootie P. Everywhere. So the order of the symbols would be Banana, Monkey, Palm Tree. It's not too hard to figure out. When you have the correct symbols, press the button and you will get the file for Pegnose Pete with the directions through the Mystes O' Tyme. Although you can take the file with you, it is easier to write down the directions. The directions, like the name, is different in each game. When you have everything written down, leave the shop. Walk down near the docks and you will find two pirates playing chess. If you talk to the fat pirate with no attention span, you will find out the skinny one has a crush on Brittany (the now ex-bank teller). Wait until the fat pirate picks up a piece and then distract him (it isn't hard to tell which phrase to pick!). The fat pirate will get annoyed with skinny one. Now talk to the skinny priate. When he picks a piece up, use the phrase that has Brittany in it. The pirates will start fighting and swatting chess pieces around. Take the CLOCK. Head towards the Mystes 'O Tyme. This next bit can be somewhat confusing. Place the CLOCK on the raft (this isn't the confusing part! ;) ) Now use the raft. You should see a clock in the lower left hand corner. Match the time on the clock to your directions your wrote down and head in the corresponding direction. Do this until you encounter yourself at a gate. Yes, you heard me. This is the somewhat confusing part. You are the nearer of the two Guybrushes. Remember (or better yet write it down) what Guybrush says to you, and the order of the items he gives to you. Once AGAIN, this is random (at least the number you are thinking of is). Keep following the directions - eventually you will run into yourself again, only now you are the FURTHER of the two Guybrushes. This is a good place to save, by the way, as if you screw up you will be back at the beginning again. Do everything in the same order as the first time you ran into yourself, and say the exact same things, otherwise, you will be sucked into a time vortex and be put back at the beginning of the swamp. Once you have made it through this surreal part of the game, keep following the directions until you get to Pegnose Pete's. Move towards the house, and you will overhear Pegnose Pete and Ozzie Mandrill talking about a plan. Time to capture the real thief! Use the TIN OF CHICKEN GREASE on the doormat. Walk back over to the window and use the DUCK on the window. Pete will come screaming out of the house, slip on the grease and fall into the cage on the dock. One task down, two to go! Proving The Real Thief Was At The Scene Of The Crime ---------------------------------------------------- Remember the MANHOLE COVER? Go ahead and look at it. Remember the names on it - which are, of course, random. Now go to the Prostheses shop and talk to Dave about getting a free Prostheses. He will tell you a story, and you must supply the names. After succesfully doing this, you will receive the PROSTHETIC SKIN. While you are here, let's get a prosthetic hand. Use the music box on Dave, and while the words (Music Playing) appear in the lower left of the screen, quickly walk to the barrel by the door, look at it, and take the WOODEN PROSTHETIC HAND. If the music stops, you will have to try again. Leave the shop and go back to the bank. Use the PROSTHETIC SKIN with the manhole - all right! A trampoline! Use the now covered manhole and you will bounce into the open window of the bank. Once you are inside the bank, walk down the ladder towards the table in the lower left corner. Take the SCUPPERWARE. Walk to the left side of the counter and use the pull-chain. Climb back up the ladder and walk towards the left side of the balcony. Look at the light fixture and you will see a weird shadow on the wall and Guybrush will find a prosthetic nose. Inspector Canard will come in and take the nose. You have now proved he was at the scene of the crime. Watch the short cut scene of Elaine having problems with the election on Melee Island(TM). How can you match good times and free grog?? Finding the Booty ----------------- Leave the bank and head towards the bait shop. Pick up some BAIT. Combine the SCUPPERWARE and the BAIT. Now move towards the termite circus in the lower right corner and use the WOODEN PROSTHETIC HAND on the termite circus. Leave the store and go to the Lucre Island(TM) map. Go to the foreboding mansion and go inside - why, it's Ozzie Mandrill and a lot of stuffed animals! When you are done talking to Ozzie (you can challenge him to insult sword fighting, but you'll lose), use the COLOGNE on one of the stuffed animals - it doesn't matter which one. Ozzie will get mad and break his walking stick. Go back to town and go to the House of Sticks. Walk over to the rack of sticks near the "Choosing the Right Walking Stick" sign and you will find Mr. Mandrill's cane. Use the TERMITE INFESTED PROSTHETIC HAND with Mr. Mandrill's cane. You will see a trail of sawdust. Go back to Ozzie's mansion and accuse him of plotting against you with Pegnose Pete. You can answer whatever you like when he asks you what the booty looks like. Mandrill will leave, conveniently leaving a trail of sawdust behind him. Follow the trail through the woods and you will see Ozzie show up from behind a hill of sand (and get a Looney Tunes phrase as well!). Walk around behind the hill after Ozzie leaves and you will find a hidden passage. Walk to the front of the table and use the button. Hey it's the missing loot and the Marley Heirlooms! Leave the secret room. Walk near the deep water and dive into it. Wow - it is really dark. Wait until you see some glowing fish on the screen and open the SCUPPERWARE - VIOLA! You have a lantern (aka GLOWING SCUPPERWARE). Walk to the left a bit and you will find a secret door - enter the door. Pick up the MARLEY FAMILY HEIRLOOMS, and a screw will fall onto the ground. Pick up the ITTY-BITTY BRASS SCREW and leave the cave. Walk up the hille to the right and leave the water. Head back to town and the Hall of Justice. Show inspector Canard the MARLEY FAMILY HEIRLOOMS. He is still not convinced. Finally, show him the ITTY-BITTY BRASS SCREW. Watch the cut scene of Pegnose getting his nose put on (along with a bad O.J. Simpson joke) and his subsequent escape. You will then head back to Melee Island(TM). You will then see a movie of Guybrush badly inflating what happened on Lucre Island(TM). Suddenly, Elaine's opponent will show up and reveal himself as....THE DEMON ZOMBIE GHOST PIRATE LECHUCK! (evil music). Congrats! You have finished Act I - Things To Do On Melee Island(TM) When You're Dead ======================================================================== (6) Act II - Enter The Manatee ======================================================================== Melee Island(TM) --------------- Act II starts with you and Elaine chatting in the Mansion. Ask her all of the questions presented to you. Take Elaine's suggestion and go visit the Voodoo Lady. Her house is on the first screen of the town after the mansion (the one with the clock). Enter the International House of Mojo. Walk to the hand in the middle of the floor and pull the finger. Follow all of the dialog options to learn about the Ultimate Insult and Grandpa Marley's wedding gifts. When you ask her about the gifts, you will receive the EARRINGS, the NECKLACE, and the PEN ON CHAIN. After talking to your heart's content, leave the International House of Mojo and go to the Melee Island(TM) map. Go to the house just right of the mansion on the map - this is Meathook's house. Talk to Meathook about all of the candles. When you are finished talking to him, take the PAINT BRUSH from the bucket he showed you. Head towards the harbor. Approach the Grog machine and look at the change return slot, then take the QUARTER. Use the Quarter in the Grog Machine. It gets jammed, so kick the grog machine, punch it, shake it, then yell at it until the machine spits out a whole pile of grog. Pick up a CAN OF GROG. Go back to town and go to the SCUMM Bar. Oh no! It isn't the SCUMM Bar anymore!! It is now the family wholesome Lua Bar. Go ahead and enter the Lua Bar. Look at the table just to the left of the door and take the CHOPSTICKS. Order food from the waitress (it doesn't matter what, but you get the Flaming Scuttlefish). After you have talked to the waitress, a flaming ship will float by you. When it reaches the totem pool on the right and is heading left, use the PAINT BRUSH with the boat mechanism. If you have timed it right, the boat will be under the landscape painting on the wall. The French cook will come running out to see what the matter is - when he does, make a dash for the kitchen. Find the canal steam generator (it is in the lower right and is somewhat hard to find) and use the CAN OF GROG with it. The painting will melt, the cook will be upset and give it to you. You now have the BLUE PAINTING. What's this? It is really a water color map of the tri-island area! Head to the harbor and go to the Dainty Lady. Use the EARRINGS with the figurehead. Woah! The figurehead is alive - but she is far from pleasent. Now use the NECKLACE on the figurehead. After being insulted repeatedly, use the BLUE PAINTING on the figure head and she will draw you a picture of the ultimate insult - spewing insults and sarcasm all the while. Next stop - Jambalya Island(TM). Before you leave, however, Elaine shows up and takes the MELEE ISLAND(TM) GUBERNATORIAL SYMBOL. Jambalya Island(TM) ------------------- There are three parts to the Ultimate Insult - (1) The Silver Monkey Head, (2) A Bronze Hat, and (3) A Golden Man Getting the Silver Monkey Head ------------------------------ The first thing we need to do is get the silver monkey head. Head into town and go to the first building on the right - StarBuccaneer's Coffee. Time to practice the pirating ways...sort of. walk up the tourist in the loud purple shirt and look at her shopping bag. You will notice a mug, so get the STARBUCCANEER'S LOGO MUG from the bag. Next, go to the left side of the counter and get yourself a free sample of mini bagels - apparently, they taste pretty bad (*EDITORIAL* - (1) I find it amusing that the game is poking fun at an over-priced coffee shop that has bad coffee to begin with (2) I have a friend who owns a coffee shop chain who would be proud and (3) I wonder how many hoops Lucas Arts Legal Department made the creators go through so they wouldn't get sued...ok back to the game). You now have the JUICY WAD OF CHEWED UP BAGEL CHUNKS WITH SCHMEAR WHIZ(TM). Now Go to the Jambalya Island(TM) map and go to the gaudy house. Hey hey! It's Stan. He is horribly annoying in this game versus previous games, so talk to him as little as possible. Go to his desk, however, and take a TIME SHARE BROCHURE. Walk to the left of the door and take the JAR OF GLUE. Go back to town and head to the Micro Groggery. Walk to the Menacing Mechanical Manatee and use the JAR OF GLUE with it. Talk to Carla if you wish, and ask the bartender about the thing with the saddle. Ask him what it is here for, then tell him you wish to try riding it. After a rather amusing cut scene, you will get off the Manatee and receive the PLANET THREEPWOOD COUPON. Head over to Planet Threepwood. It's another old friend - Murray the Evil Skull! He is apparently now the greeter/bouncer for Planet Threepwood. Talk to him if you want and then enter the restaurant. Just to the right of the door is today's menu. Read it, then talk to the waitress, Elayne. Place your order (it doesn't matter what you get) and get a drink. Sit down, then talk to the Jolly Pirate. Ask for a free pirate caricature, answer his questions, and you will receive the MONKEY MUG CARICATURE. Use the JAR OF GLUE on the MONKEY MUG CARICATURE. Then stick it to the STARBUCCANEER'S LOGO MUG. Now switch the mug you just made with the mug the waitress brought you Ta-da! You have the first part of the Ultimate Insult! (thanks to boblemjw@hotmail.com for pointing out I forgot to add the part about switching the mugs until now!) Getting A Bronze Hat -------------------- Return to the Micro Groggery and request some grog. The bartender will ID you, then give you the WIMPY GROG (just strong enough to affect a skinny parrot!). Leave the bar and go look at the statue in the center of town - hmmm...it seems to have been vandalized. Talk to the tourist with the nasally voice (the only one by the statue) to learn more about the statue and Tiny Lafeet. When you are finished talking to the tourist, go to the docks and next to the Dainty Lady is a community rowboat - use it. Row around the north side of the island on the left. As you are passing the ship in between the islands, you will be fired upon by a grade 'A' nimrod, Admiral Casaba (or Ricardo Luigi Pierre M'Benga Chang Nehru O'Hara Casaba the Third). Don't bother talking to him and continue heading towards the island on the right, Knuttin Atoll. It is time to learn! Head towards the brightish building in the back - it's a school. Talk to the nice lady and ask her about the school. Then tell her you are tired of being a pirate. Now your Transmogrification can begin! After a small break, you will be given your final exam. No matter what you are asked, answer with the most violent answer you are able to. You will fail so badly, you will be given the DUNCE CAP. Once you have failed your exam and are kicked out of school, look to the right, see that fire alarm? Pull it. Miss Rivers will run out of the school. Quickly go in the school and over to the chest. Take the WHISTLE. Get back to the beach and go check out the puppet show. Talk to Li'l LeChuck - tell him you think you've heard of him, then tell him he died over 80 years ago. Finally, question him about where he's been. The other puppet - Li'l Guybrush - will tell you that Casaba will fire on three or more pirates talking in a group. Ask to speak to the puppeteer. Leave the puppeteer alone, then show him BLUE PAINTING. He will scream in terror, throw the puppets on the ground, and run. Pick up LI'L GUYBRUSH & LI'L LECHUCK. Walk to the beach on the east side of the island. Talk to the metabolically challenged pirate. You will find out his father was Tiny LaFeet and that he stole the hat from the statue. He then tells you he buried under one of the rocks, but can't remember which one. Walk one screen to the right - now begins perhaps the most annoying part of this game (in my opinion, this is worse than Monkey Kombat...although I liked Monkey Kombat personally). Use the whistle to call the parrots. Use the WIMPY GROG with only ONE of the parrots. Now ask it a question to find out if it lies or tells the truth. I happened to give it to the lying parrot. The rock the hat is under is random, so here is the general pattern to follow: 1) Use the WHISTLE (now called the PARROT CALL) 2) Ask one of the parrots if the hat is buried under this rock 3) If it is the truth teller and says no, wait for the parrots to land again and find out which direction you should go (make sure you get the truth telling parrot!) If it is the truth teller and says yes, go to the next section If it is the liar and says yes, wait for the parrots to land again and find out which direction you should go (make sure you get the truth telling parrot!) If it is the liar and says no, go to the next section (An easy way to know which parrot is which is to do this - whichever parrot can't sit still is drunk on grog. So for me, the liar was tottering back and forth - always ask the truth telling parrot the question to make this go quicker!) Once you have found the correct rock, use LI'L GUYBRUSH & LI'L LECHUCK to get Admiral Casaba to fire on you with the cannon. Casaba will miss you completely, but blow the boulder up for you, leaving a big hole. At the bottom of the hole is the BRONZE HAT! Combine the BRONZE HAT and the MONKEY MUG. Only one more piece to go! Getting A Golden Man -------------------- Get yourself back to Jambalaya Island(TM). Head to the left side of the island and watch the self-proclaimed world's best plank diver, Marco de Pollo. After talking to this chicken (pollo=chicken in spanish...ok ok it was a bad joke) - make sure you ask him about how to enter the competition - head to the left to talk to the judges and find out how to get certified. After a somewhat...painful sounding certification process, you will receive the DIVING CERTIFICATE. Head back to where Marco de Pollo is. See the baby seal oil on the table? You can't pick it up, but use the JUICY WAD OF CHEWED UP BAGEL CHUNKS WITH SCHMEAR WHIZ(TM) with it. Notice the seagull? Now it's time to compete for that golden man! Talk to Marco de Pollo and tell him you are ready to dive against him. Hmmmm....that didn't go so well, did it? Go and talk to the judges about how to beat Marco De Pollo. The grouchy judge has been paid off, the wise old judge didn't like how big of a splash you made, and the hippie judge tells you to mimic Marco de Pollo. Essentially, do the exact same moves. In order to do that, remember the order of moves Marco de Pollo does - a direction corresponds to each move: Alpha Monkey: left Keelhaul: up Rum Barrel: down Spinning Swordsman: right So (once again, something is random in this game) in my case Marco did a Keelhaul, Alpha Monkey, Keelhaul - up, left, up. It doesn't matter how fast you press the buttons, as long as you get all three in before you hit the water. To please the middle judge, you need to be more aerodynamic - wear the DUNCE CAP. The grouchy judge apparently has an expensive red headed wife, kids, and dog to take care of. Look at the TIME SHARE BROCHURE. Wait a minute - didn't the judge just say his wife was red-headed? Show him the brochure and you can blackmail him into giving you a better score. Ok, it's time to challenge the great Marco de Pollo again. Before you dive this time, wear the DUNCE CAP. Copy his dive exactly and you will tie his score. In the tie break round, you can make up any dive you want (it really doesn't matter). When Marco de Pollo goes, he puts the baby seal oil in his hair...and is suddenly the best seagull attractant in the tri-island area. He will get horrible scores, be scarred for life, and even Guybrush can mock him - with some assistance from the "crowd" (how low can you get??). All Right! You have all three parts of the Ultimate Insult! If only you had some idea as to how to use it! You will see a cut-scene of Elaine being taunted by LeChuck (and looking crazy in the process). Elaine loses the election, Guybrush gets the Ultimate Insult taken, and is banished to *GASP* Monkey Island(TM)! It is their darkest hour... ======================================================================== (7) Act III - Escape From Monkey Island(TM) ======================================================================== We all knew it would happen sooner or later - we're back on Monkey Islan (TM). You start Act III washed up on the beach with Timmy the Monkey with nothing to your name. Near the path to the island map is a note. Read it (hmmm, who do we know with the initials H.T.?), then take the NOTE then go to the island map. Just north of where you start is a cluttered clearing and campsite - go ahead and visit it. Read the note, then take the NOTE. On the left side of the shack is the COCONUT - pick ut up. Now talk to the man just to the left of the fire - it's Herman Toothrot!! Only...he has no idea that is who he is. Apparently he has lost his memory. Herman isn't much help right now, so lets move on. Go to the Monkey Island(TM) map and head towards the vista point. Hmmm, some rocks and some canals - pick up a rock from the pile. This isn't too hard if you just get the timing right. Pick up a rock, throw it in the right canal. Now quickly pick up another rock. You will see the first rock you threw hit a branch - as soon as it does that, throw the rock you have into the middle canal. Quickly pick up a third rock. As soon as the second rock hits a branch, throw the rock into the left canal. Quickly pick up ANOTEHR rock. Finally, when the third rock hits a branch, throw the rock into the left canal. If you timed it right, a boulder will go flying and land in a bunch of lava, creating a pool. If you don't see this happen, just try it again - timing is of the utmost importance! Get yourself back to the island map and hike down to the canyon (just north and east of the campsite). All the way to the right, leaning against the cactus is the BANANA PICKER (note: I'm not sure about the PC version, but on the PS2 version, it is EXTREMELY hard to see - just get by the cactus and you should be ok). Head towards the castle in the cliff. You will see a short scene of a monkey throwing a bottle onto one of the islands in the lava field. Remember which island! Head inside the castle and you will find yourself in a VERY creepy looking place. Turn around and use the BANANA PICKER to get the SHIELDS. Go across the bridge and you will meet Father Allegro Rasputin, who just happens to be a ghost. Talk to him about the stream of lava flowing through the church, and eventually you will be able to try the lava plunge. As soon as you are at the bottom of the lava-fall, get the banana picker ready. Go to the right of the top middle island and use the BANANA PICKER to get the MILK BOTTLE. If you miss it, just keep pressing right and you can go back around for another try (you need to press right to get past the boulder as well). If you mess up, you can always ride it again. Once you have the milk bottle, make your way towards the pool you created with the boulder. Walk up the ramp to the lone palm tree. Push the tree, and you will create a bridge to get to the other side of the lava flow. Walk to the Monkey Island(TM) map. Go back to the beach you started on and use the BANANA PICKER on the bananas until you get a BUNCH OF BANANAS. Now offer poor Timmy a banana and he will start to follow you. Quickly make your way to the canyon. If Timmy stops following you, simply offer him another banana. Go into the mine and walk as far back as you can until you see the big metal door. (Note: If this is the first time you have entered the mine, Herman will come in and say "hi". This will cause you to lose Timmy. Just go outside the mine and offer him another banana) At the big metal door, open the vent and use the BUNCH OF BANANAS with it. After Timmy enters the vent, close it (you big mean person!). Now use the BUNCH OF BANANAS with the portal and Timmy will activate the switch that opens the door. Enter the tube and walk around the left side of the machinery until you see "Look At Weedwhipper" as an option. Use the BANANA PICKER to get the WEED WHIPPER (is the banana picker great or WHAT??). There isn't much else you can do here, so go ahead back to the map. Go back to the lava field and cross the tree you pushed over. Go over to the patch of weeds and use the WEED WHIPPER on them. You will eventually pull out so many weeds that the lava will drain into the mine and the machinery you were just at, activating it. It's time to go meet the majority of the residents on Monkey Island(TM) - the monkeys. Cross the stone bridge at the lava field and make your way towards the Monkey Village on the map. You will meet Jojo, Jr. the talking monkey. Ask him about his hat, and you will learn about a "noble" sport - Monkey Kombat. Ask him about it, and you will learn the basics of Monkey Kombat, including the 'Monkey See Monkey Do' method. For a much more in depth coverage of Monkey Kombat, see the section entitled "Monkey Kombat - Flawless Victory", or see the FAQ at www.gamefaqs.com entitled "Monkey Kombat FAQ" by David Moore (it was designed for the PC, so there may be some differences, but I'm assuming the basics have not changed). ANYHOW, walk to the left and use the SHIELDS - the musically inclined monkey will get excited and take the SHIELDS. He will drop the ACCORDIAN - pick it up. Leave the village and find the walking monkey on the map - this is how you learn Monkey Kombat. Again, since the sounds to change positions and the weaknesses are different for each game, I'm only going to say that the four sounds and their buttons are: Triangle - Ack Circle - Oop X - Eek Square - Chee As you win more fights, you will encounter different monkeys - starting with timid, then smelly monkeys, then the strapping monkey, and finally the brawny monkey. After you have defeated the brawny monkey, Guybrush will mention he is ready to take on Jojo Jr. Again, all the real in depth information about Monkey Kombat can be found later on in this Walkthrough, or just talk to Jojo Jr. again. One thing you want to make sure and do is to get a draw (copy your opponent's move) three times - it will give you a big clue as to the end of the game (*mysterious music playing*) Before you go and challenge Jojo Jr., lets go help Herman get his memory back! Make your way back to the campsite. First, throw the COCONUT at him. He will remember a things a little bit. Now fling the MILK BOTTLE at him. Herman will remember you now. Finally, wonk Herman with the ACCORDIAN. His memory will be completely back!! He'll remember EVERYTHING - including where he left his pants. Watch the cut scene with a lot of whale-staggering news. Make sure to talk to him and you will get the MELEE ISLAND(TM) GUBERNATORIAL SEAL. Having learned the shocking secrets of "Herman's" past, it is time to go beat Jojo Jr. Make your way back to the Monkey Village and challenge him. It may take a try or two, but if you wrote everything down like I suggested, you should be able to beat him (also assuming, that you know the different moves and so forth from fighting the other monkeys). You prize for beating Jojo Jr. is the BRONZE HAT. If you are close to winning, he will seemingly throw the fight by tying you towards the end of the fight. Don't throw your notes away just yet though... One more stop to make before we can get off of Monkey Island(TM). Head to the giant Monkey head on the east side of the island. Walk up to the head and use the BRONZE HAT with the monkey head...hmm...a giant Ultimate Insult! Next, use the highly useful BANANA PICKER with the monkey nose. Walk inside the mouth and you will find yourself in a control room. In the left center of the room is a prominent slot. Use the MELEE ISLAND(TM) GUBERNATORIAL SEAL with the prominant slot. Watch the cutscene - congrats, you have gotten yourself off of Monkey Island(TM)!! ======================================================================== (8) Act III+ - Guybrush Kicks Unusually Large Butt ======================================================================== The final act will start with you (inside the giant monkey) on a small island next to three antennas. Walk to the right of the small antenna and pick up the REALLY BIG PLANK. Use the REALLY BIG PLANK with the small tower. Climb the small tower, then jump on the REALLY BIG PLANK. After a few jumps you will find yourself at the top of the large tower. Pull the excessively large switch. After another cutscene, you will find yourself in Monkey Kombat with the giant LeChuck Statue. Now, remember I suggested getting three draws? Did you do it? If you had, you would notice the monkey POUNDS its head. Notice Ozzie Mandrill sitting on the LeChuck Statue's head? Get three Draws, and I bet he would get hurt. So get three Draws. After a final cutscene, you will have won the game! See? That wasn't so hard. ======================================================================== (9) How To Insult Like A Pro ======================================================================== Note: These can also be found in the instruction book that comes with the game! --------------------------------------------------------------- | Insult | Response | --------------------------------------------------------------- |Today, by myself, twelve | From the size of your gut, | |people I've beaten! | I'd guess they were eaten! | ---------------------------------------------------------------